What Is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness is…

1) A Decision, not an emotion.

2) Letting Go of the intense emotions attached to my past hurt.

3) Realizing I no longer need my grudges, resentments, hatred, and self-pity (no longer finding ones identity in their anger).

4) No longer looking to the one who hurt me to make it right.

5) No longer wanting to punish the one who hurt me (relinquishing the role of being the judge).

6) Accepting that nothing I do to punish them will heal me.

7) Something I do for me.

8) Moving on.

1) Forgetting – But will not be the focus when we see that person.

2) Condoning – If you were condoning it, you wouldn’t need to forgive.

3) Absolution (to say that they are no longer guilty). Only God can do this, but we can say guilty but forgiven.

4) Martyrdom – saying it was my fault.

5) A one time decision – It usually takes several times.

6) Conditional – when you forgive you do so unconditionally.

7) Minimizing – Belittling the problem

8) Necessarily reconciliation – forgiveness is one-way, reconciliation and friendship are two-way.[1]

~ Freedom from the bondage that those who have wronged us hold us under (and they often don’t even realize it).

~ Freedom from the weight of our own mistakes and sins.

~ Freedom from the problem of self-inflicted pain and guilt.

[1] Minirth-Meyer Anger and Forgiveness Seminar, 1992